My Grandparents - Fayne and Wayne Holley

So, I had a crazy dream last night about my grandparent's house in Paris, Illinois. And I literally woke up crying from it. It was the strangest thing ever. Maybe I'll write about it one day. But as I've thought about it through out today, I've begun to miss my grandparents alot. My grandpa died from a heart-attack in 2002 and my grandma died a couple of years later (I don't remember if it was 2003 or 2004). I remember being scared of my grandpa because he was a tall, gruff man. And my grandma was the complete opposite of him. 

When we were little, my sister Aaryn and I would get to spend a week with them during the summer. She would go down first and then after a week we would meet half way with our parents and switch off. Then it would be my turn. I was my grandma's little shadow. I would help her clean, wash dishes, change the sheets, pick beans in the garden, go to the store for lunch meat, walk with grandpa to get coffee. And of course, sit quietly beside them in their Lutheran church service on Sundays. Those weeks were some of the best I can remember (along with weeks with my family as staff brats at Rock River Christian Camp).

I never saw my grandparents bicker. My grandpa always cared for my grandma and she for him. They would joke and laugh with each other. And I could always see love in their eyes. Love for each other. Love for their kids (my dad and his brother and sister). Love for their grandkids. 

I always remember how my grandma always made fried chicken for my dad. And the best cinnamon-sugar toast for breakfast ever. I remember how my grandpa would walk every day to have coffee with the other old men in town. And he would collect any spare change he passed along the way. He never passed by a penny, no matter how dirty it was (we found hundreds of dollars in change after he died. It was crazy!). I remember how when I was really little (like Samantha was the baby) our car broke down on our way to their house for Christmas. And it was really late until we arrived. I remember how my Uncle would come to visit at the same time and I didn't really know who he was and was scared of the man in the corner. I remember how particular grandpa was about his cars and how when we later bought or inherited his cars he would have been rolling over in his grave for the care it received from us (what can I say? We are a big family... it's hard to keep things nice after awhile!). I remember celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary (they married while he was in the Navy and he spent time in the Pacific Islands during World War 2) only 8 months before grandpa died. The whole Holley family was there. And their love still shown bright for all of us to see. I remember my grandma coming to my sister's graduation and being so proud of her and raving about us grandkids. It was only a few months later that she had a stroke and then was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember sitting with my grandma in the nursing home a few years later and reading to her or getting her one of her favorite sugar-free candies. I remember the look of peace on her face when I said my goodbye to her at the funeral home. I remember sticking my nose into my grandpa's VFW coat, hanging in my dad's closet (I wear it when I'm home), just to get a whif of his cologne or tobacco.

I have so many memories of my grandparents. But the hardest thing is that my little brother and sister don't. Karis was just a baby when grandpa died and a toddler when grandma died. They didn't get to spend weeks during the summer with them by themselves. It's hard. And I think about how much our lives have changed and I can only think about how much grandma and grandpa would have loved to see all of us graduate, be at Aaryn's wedding, watch Joshua bike race, see Samantha and Karis' photography, support my missions. I miss them. And the crazy dream I had made it stronger. But I'm grateful for the memories.

Grandma and Grandpa, 

Thank you for everything. Thank you for letting me come spend time each summer with you. Thank you for teaching me how to take care of a home. Thank you for loving me and always being proud of me. Thank you for loving me and my siblings as much as you did. Thanks for praying for my dad always. Thanks for welcoming my mom as a daughter. Thanks for being two of the best grandparents ever. I miss you and love you always. 

-your loving granddaughter-