A Confession and A Passion Revived
In my time here in Peru, in dealing with so much homesickness and frustration, in trying to determine if I can really do full-time, overseas missions... I lost a bit of my passion for missions. It's something that I am not real proud of; not real excited to even share. But I think it's important for me to explain.
Ever since I was in 8th grade listening to Steve Saint and Mincaye tell the story of the Waodani, missions has been all I could think and dream about. Ever since I first stepped foot in Ecuador in 2004, missions was the only possible option for my life. I honestly couldn't (and still can't) imagine my life without missions. And I always held to the belief that missions is full-time, overseas missions. But my time here in Peru has challenged me in that. Yes, missions can be full-time. And yes, it can be overseas. But it doesn't have to be both together. They can be separate. I have been challenged a lot in whether or not I believe I have what it takes to do missions overseas or full-time. I have been challenged a lot in thinking about what my life would be like without it. I have come to some conclusions.
1. Missions is my heart. It's in my blood. It's my passion. Even if I don't go overseas to live permanently doing missions. Missions will always be a part of my life. I will never live without it. I won't lose it somehow (only if I walk away from it). I will always find a way to serve, whether via short-terms, sitting on a board, doing missionary support, etc. Missions is my heart and nothing can change that.
2. I won't fail or disappoint God, my parents, professors, boyfriend or anyone else if I don't go full-time overseas. I will still be involved in missions. I will still have a ministry in which I serve. I will still find ways in which to help the LORD of the Harvests.
3. My first mission is on my knees. Praying for the nations. Praying for the teams of workers. Praying for the Bible translators. Praying for the literacy teachers. Praying for the team leaders. Praying for the missions boards. Praying for the jungle pilots. Praying for the businessman. Praying for the preachers and teachers. Praying for the supporters. Praying for everyone who is involved with spreading the Gospel to every corner of the world. My first mission is to pray. And that is something I can do no matter where I am at.
4. Missions in today's world can mean and include so many things. There are endless possibilities as to what I can do to be involved and committed to missions. I know my set of passions and gifts, along with the training I received at LCU. And I know that there are ways I can use them to further the Kingdom, even if I don't know it just yet.
5. I am only 22 (23 in December) and don't need to have every piece of my life plan laid out in front of me right now. I still have plenty of life ahead of me (God-willing) and need to just focus on following Him and letting Him dictate what steps I take. Maybe one day I will end up on an overseas mission field full-time. And then again maybe not. Maybe I'll end up working at a home office in missionary support or serving at a church getting them excited about and committed to missions. Only God knows at this point.
Thanks to the above conclusions, the faithfulness of God and Scripture, the encouragement of family, friends and church partners back home... I am finding my passion once again. I am once again realizing why my heart aches the way it does when I see children abandoned because they aren't perfectly whole or healthy in the eyes of the world; stone-age tribes who know nothing of the outside world or the love of God; split families who can't seem to make any sense of what's going on; crooked politicians who have no understanding of what justice is. I am once again being reminded of why my Ecuador team nick-named me "Fire and Ice" (fire for passion, ice for tears). I am once again being reminded of how God is the one who placed missions in my heart and He is the one who will pave the way for me in whatever ministry He desires.
Missions is my life. And that will never change. No matter how frustrated or homesick I may get. No matter where I move to. No matter what ministry I find myself in. Missions is and forever will be part of what defines and drives me.
p.s. For the latest issues of TELL Magazine, the yearly publication from Team Expansion, check out -
Ever since I was in 8th grade listening to Steve Saint and Mincaye tell the story of the Waodani, missions has been all I could think and dream about. Ever since I first stepped foot in Ecuador in 2004, missions was the only possible option for my life. I honestly couldn't (and still can't) imagine my life without missions. And I always held to the belief that missions is full-time, overseas missions. But my time here in Peru has challenged me in that. Yes, missions can be full-time. And yes, it can be overseas. But it doesn't have to be both together. They can be separate. I have been challenged a lot in whether or not I believe I have what it takes to do missions overseas or full-time. I have been challenged a lot in thinking about what my life would be like without it. I have come to some conclusions. 1. Missions is my heart. It's in my blood. It's my passion. Even if I don't go overseas to live permanently doing missions. Missions will always be a part of my life. I will never live without it. I won't lose it somehow (only if I walk away from it). I will always find a way to serve, whether via short-terms, sitting on a board, doing missionary support, etc. Missions is my heart and nothing can change that.
2. I won't fail or disappoint God, my parents, professors, boyfriend or anyone else if I don't go full-time overseas. I will still be involved in missions. I will still have a ministry in which I serve. I will still find ways in which to help the LORD of the Harvests.
3. My first mission is on my knees. Praying for the nations. Praying for the teams of workers. Praying for the Bible translators. Praying for the literacy teachers. Praying for the team leaders. Praying for the missions boards. Praying for the jungle pilots. Praying for the businessman. Praying for the preachers and teachers. Praying for the supporters. Praying for everyone who is involved with spreading the Gospel to every corner of the world. My first mission is to pray. And that is something I can do no matter where I am at.4. Missions in today's world can mean and include so many things. There are endless possibilities as to what I can do to be involved and committed to missions. I know my set of passions and gifts, along with the training I received at LCU. And I know that there are ways I can use them to further the Kingdom, even if I don't know it just yet.
5. I am only 22 (23 in December) and don't need to have every piece of my life plan laid out in front of me right now. I still have plenty of life ahead of me (God-willing) and need to just focus on following Him and letting Him dictate what steps I take. Maybe one day I will end up on an overseas mission field full-time. And then again maybe not. Maybe I'll end up working at a home office in missionary support or serving at a church getting them excited about and committed to missions. Only God knows at this point.
Missions is my life. And that will never change. No matter how frustrated or homesick I may get. No matter where I move to. No matter what ministry I find myself in. Missions is and forever will be part of what defines and drives me.
p.s. For the latest issues of TELL Magazine, the yearly publication from Team Expansion, check out -
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