The desire of Hannah

1 Samuel 1 talks about the heart-felt desire of Hannah, the wife of Elkanah, a daughter of the people of Israel. Her desire to have a family of her own. Children of her own. Her husband had another wife who was able to give him children. And because of that she made Hannah's life miserable, holding it over her head that she (Hannah) was broken or sinful because of not having children. This hurt Hannah deeply. So deeply that she spent hours at the Tabernacle praying and weeping. In fact, she weeped and prayed silently and with so much emotion that the priest, Eli, thought she was drunk and chastised her. When she explained to him what was going on, he told her to go and have peace because GOD had heard and would grant her petition. Some time later, her son Samuel was born and she dedicated him to the service of the LORD because of HIS faithfulness to her.

For a long time, I have loved the story of Hannah. I have loved the emotion and the heart-felt desire she had before her GOD. I have loved her commitment to give Samuel back to the LORD, an offering in return for a blessing. I have loved everything about her and her story. And I have to admit, a big part of it is because that for long time, I have longed and hoped for a family of my own. Obviously, I am not married yet and therefore, not at the point to be ready for a family of my own. But it is definitely a desire of my heart (if you have been keeping up with my blog you know this by now).

I started thinking about this a lot more tonight as I was in Milagro spending time with one of our director's sons, Adiel. He was in a cuddly mood tonight and it made my heart smile. We sat and watched a movie while Skylar and Nicole talked with a couple of his cousins. At first he just held my hand. But soon he shifted to either sit on my lap or lay his head on my legs. He never let go of my hand and gave me lots of hugs as he moved around to get comfortable. It was so wonderful to get to cuddle and spend time with Adiel.

It made me think about spending time with my kids one day. Getting to sit on the couch, cuddling, on Saturday mornings in our pjs.  Spending time at the kitchen table with them doing homework while dinner is cooking. Having family story-time and devotion at night before bed. Going to church and having Sunday dinner afterwards. Going to the park on the spur of a moment to have a picnic. Picking out and planning our family vacations. Taking family pictures and sending them to all of our family the way my mom did. Going to every baseball game, Boy scout award dinner, choir concert and dance recital (in an SUV, not a mini-van).

All of those things and more came flooding through my day-dreams as I sat and cuddled with Adiel. My heart's desire is to love a family of my own. To make a home for my husband, my children and myself. And maybe, just maybe, one day those things will happen. And maybe, just maybe, one day my kids will love and serve GOD the way that Samuel did.

I love the story of Hannah.