As if I haven't cried enough lately --

I can't even describe how emotional and crazy busy the last four days have been. Between finding out about Brayan's death, going to the wake to be with his family, to watching 90 kids at our capicitacion, to having a ginkana and having to use my first aid training on a 4 year old little boy... I am exhausted and emotionally dead right now. Spending so much time this weekend with all of my favorite kids was wonderful and definitely helped to ease some of the pain I feel from Brayan's death. But at the same time it was hard to not have him there with us.

Yesterday was wonderful. We went to Milagro to have a ginkana (kids carnival) as an outreach for the new sector we are working in. I got to love on the kids all day. And it carried over to the evening at church. The only awful part of the day was when I had to use my first aid training on a little 4 year old boy. We had gone back to the church in Milagro to get ready for the service. We had a big group of kids running around and getting in the way. So Nicole and I took them around the corner to play at the park. As we were playing we had some of the neighborhood kids joining us. We played on the swings, merry-go-round and teetter-totters. It was a great time. After a little while, one of the dad's came to take his son home, but he begged and begged to stay with us until we headed back for church (they live right across the street from the church building). So his dad agreed. About 10 minutes later we started getting ready to head back. The little boy was climbing up the slide. Instead of going down the slide, he tried to climb back down the ladder. Well, he missed a step, cracked his head on the step, and fell the rest of the way (about 4 steps down). I saw him fall and heard his cry immediately. I rushed to him and he was already covered in blood. It was already pretty dark and I couldn't find the cut. So I scooped him up in my arms and yelled "NICOLE!" I took off running before I said anything else. She, thankfully, brought the other kids with her. I saw Carlos (one of our directors) first but couldn't remember the Spanish words for "first aid". So I ran past him yelling for Skylar. I set the boy on the table and started trying to find the cut. We finally got the first-aid kit (which was at one of our leader's houses, not at the church) and I was able to get him cleaned up enough to find the cut and bandage him up. It wasn't as bad as we expected it to be. Thankfully, no stitches were needed. But I was so freaked out. Shaking and almost in tears. It was hard because we had a crowd of about 15 crowding around us and making him cry and panic. And I didn't have space to work. And oh, it was just awful. After, he went home with his parents I changed out of my bloody clothes (thankfully, I had a sweatshirt in the car to change into) and then walked around outside a bit to get calmed down. I couldn't help but cry. I was so scared for that little boy. And I kept myself composed until he was okay. Then I lost it. Part of it was just an overflow of every emotion I've had since Thursday night (the night we found out about Brayan). Part of it was I felt so thankful that I knew what to do and could help the little boy. Part of it was I had no idea what else to do to get myself calmed down. I pray I don't have to use my first-aid again in the next 36 days that I am here in Peru. I hope that I don't have to use it ever again. But I am glad I know what to do just in case.


So, as if I haven't cried enough the last three days... last night added to the tears. And now, I'm even more exhausted. Finding it even harder to sleep. Even harder to focus on work. I am reading my Bible like crazy trying to find comfort and hope and peace. I am praying for rest this week. Praying for a peaceful heart. Praying for comfort. And praying for no more pain or death. And am finding all of those things at the foot of the cross, the place where all pain and death was defeated, the place where death has no more power.

Christ Has Risen
Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love

And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven's will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold You down

In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

Sing it, o death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave
Rise up from the grave