Thinking at the beach --
This morning our team of directors and staff at Proyecta Nueva Esperanza went to the beach at Huanchaco to spend time "exercising" as a group. It wasn't a lot of exercise. It was just a chance to walk and enjoy a time of being together and then a time of prayer to end it. It was pretty cool. But on the way back from where we stopped to pray, I separated myself from the group so that I could walk a little bit quicker and spend time praying out loud and talking to God about all of the things I am wrestling with right now. It was a good time for me to talk to Him. I cried and was taken by surprise when some of the team caught up to me and looked at me out of worry. But it was good nonetheless.
I spent alot of time thinking about my attitude here. And how I don't fully understand how God has put such a passion and love for missions and other countries in my heart when I am so in love with home and close to my family. It seems like such a strange combination and one that makes me feel rather torn. It makes me wonder if I will always be torn, no matter where I go or what I do. I hope not because it's a terrible feeling. I then spent a lot of time asking God about how to change that. How to stop feeling so torn between home and Peru. How to stop feeling so torn between my passion and love for missions and my desire to always be close to home. I don't have any answers to that yet. But I know that recognizing and praying about it is the first step to coming to an understanding or a solution. I know that somehow God has something in mind for my life. Somehow He has a plan and a task for me to do. And maybe one day I will know what that is. But right now, I have to take it one day at a time and live life here in Peru because for right now, this is my mission field. This is where He has placed me. This is where He wants to teach and grow me. And while I am still torn between Peru and home, my purpose right now is here. Loving and learning from the people at Projecto Nuevo Esperanza in any way that I can.
These are the thoughts from my morning walk on the beach. May I remember them every day so as to better live here in Peru for the time I have left.
I spent alot of time thinking about my attitude here. And how I don't fully understand how God has put such a passion and love for missions and other countries in my heart when I am so in love with home and close to my family. It seems like such a strange combination and one that makes me feel rather torn. It makes me wonder if I will always be torn, no matter where I go or what I do. I hope not because it's a terrible feeling. I then spent a lot of time asking God about how to change that. How to stop feeling so torn between home and Peru. How to stop feeling so torn between my passion and love for missions and my desire to always be close to home. I don't have any answers to that yet. But I know that recognizing and praying about it is the first step to coming to an understanding or a solution. I know that somehow God has something in mind for my life. Somehow He has a plan and a task for me to do. And maybe one day I will know what that is. But right now, I have to take it one day at a time and live life here in Peru because for right now, this is my mission field. This is where He has placed me. This is where He wants to teach and grow me. And while I am still torn between Peru and home, my purpose right now is here. Loving and learning from the people at Projecto Nuevo Esperanza in any way that I can.
These are the thoughts from my morning walk on the beach. May I remember them every day so as to better live here in Peru for the time I have left.
Love these thoughts K! Wuv you!
ReplyDelete