My heart's desire...
Want to know what my heart's desire is? Want to know what has been burdening my heart lately? Want to know what makes my heart ache when I dream about our (mine and Spencer's) future?
If you know me at all, you know that orphans and adoption are very important to me. You know that I have written about this topic numerous times in the past. But you may not know just how much my heart aches and longs to bring children into my home and into my family. You may not know just how much I long to be a mom.
Yes, I am only 24. Yes, I am only a year (come June 2nd) into my marriage. Yes, I am still working two part-time jobs to pay off student loans. Yes, my husband is in full-time ministry and a full-time seminary student. Yes, I still want to get up and travel to some new country at the drop of a hat. Yes, I still love my independence and living life with just Spencer. But yet, I can never get away from the thought that somewhere in the world today there are countless children living without parents. Living life without any real hopes or dreams for their futures. Living life not knowing what it means to be wanted and to be loved and to belong. I can never get away from the thought that I have a second bedroom in my apartment that is used to store books and boxes and piles of clutter that have been moved in there from the kitchen table when it could be used as a bedroom for some amazing little boy or girl. I can never get away from the thought that I got to spend a short few hours with some crazy, fun-loving little boys in Trujillo, Peru who just want a forever family. I just can't get away from those thoughts.
And it's especially hard (or maybe pressing or burdening) the last few weeks. I am not sure why. It's just something that has risen again to the very forefront of my mind and to the very top of my heart. Something I can't really tune out right now. It's just so important to me and so much apart of what I see our family looking like in years to come. I have no idea when or even if GOD will bless us with children who aren't ours biologically. I certainly hope He will, but I can't force my wishes and will on GOD. Life just doesn't work out when I try to do that. All I can do is pray for the children who will be a part of our family, whether biologically or adopted. All I can do is pray that GOD will prepare me and Spencer for when the time comes for us to change our life up in a big way and to become parents. All I can do is pray that when the time comes, Spencer and I will be good parents and raise our children to the best of our ability and guide them as they grow and follow Christ. All I can do is pray that the children who are waiting for their forever families won't have to wait too much longer and that they will know that no matter what they are loved by their Creator and that they have a purpose, a reason for being. All I can do is pray that the fatherless will be cared for and that those of us who know and understand how amazing it is to be a part of a family will do our best to share that with those who don't.
Orphans.
Fatherless children.
Unwanted and abandoned babies.
Ignored and forgotten youth.
160 million + children longing and waiting for the love of a forever family.
If you know me at all, you know that orphans and adoption are very important to me. You know that I have written about this topic numerous times in the past. But you may not know just how much my heart aches and longs to bring children into my home and into my family. You may not know just how much I long to be a mom.
Yes, I am only 24. Yes, I am only a year (come June 2nd) into my marriage. Yes, I am still working two part-time jobs to pay off student loans. Yes, my husband is in full-time ministry and a full-time seminary student. Yes, I still want to get up and travel to some new country at the drop of a hat. Yes, I still love my independence and living life with just Spencer. But yet, I can never get away from the thought that somewhere in the world today there are countless children living without parents. Living life without any real hopes or dreams for their futures. Living life not knowing what it means to be wanted and to be loved and to belong. I can never get away from the thought that I have a second bedroom in my apartment that is used to store books and boxes and piles of clutter that have been moved in there from the kitchen table when it could be used as a bedroom for some amazing little boy or girl. I can never get away from the thought that I got to spend a short few hours with some crazy, fun-loving little boys in Trujillo, Peru who just want a forever family. I just can't get away from those thoughts.
And it's especially hard (or maybe pressing or burdening) the last few weeks. I am not sure why. It's just something that has risen again to the very forefront of my mind and to the very top of my heart. Something I can't really tune out right now. It's just so important to me and so much apart of what I see our family looking like in years to come. I have no idea when or even if GOD will bless us with children who aren't ours biologically. I certainly hope He will, but I can't force my wishes and will on GOD. Life just doesn't work out when I try to do that. All I can do is pray for the children who will be a part of our family, whether biologically or adopted. All I can do is pray that GOD will prepare me and Spencer for when the time comes for us to change our life up in a big way and to become parents. All I can do is pray that when the time comes, Spencer and I will be good parents and raise our children to the best of our ability and guide them as they grow and follow Christ. All I can do is pray that the children who are waiting for their forever families won't have to wait too much longer and that they will know that no matter what they are loved by their Creator and that they have a purpose, a reason for being. All I can do is pray that the fatherless will be cared for and that those of us who know and understand how amazing it is to be a part of a family will do our best to share that with those who don't.
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