A state of ambivalence...

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going." 

~ John 1:1-4 ~ 

Just after 3am on February 2, 2013, heaven opened it's doors to another amazing woman. Ruth Trippel breathed her last breathes on earth and walked through the gates into the presence of her Jesus and probably into the arms of her husband, Harvey. After a long week of hanging in the balance, of confusing her family and the doctors about what exactly was going on in her body, of holding on long enough for just about everyone to say their goodbyes, Mama T let go and found herself once again in perfect health and wholeness of body. 

My family is now in a weird spot. We are sad that she has left us. But yet we are glad and joyful that she is with Jesus and Papa T. We are mourning and lonely because there is now a "Mama T" shaped hole in our hearts and lives. But yet we are at peace knowing that she lived a full life and that it was time for her to go to her heavenly home. My mommy describes this as a state of ambivalence. I am not entirely sure I understand that word. But that is where my family is at. And where we will remain for an unknown length of time. 

In a few days we will all gather together in Lincoln and Springfield to say our final goodbyes and to rejoice together the fact that she is with Jesus. We will sing some of her favorite hymns and read some of her favorite Scriptures. We will tell stories and share memories. And while it will have an air of sadness hanging about, the day will be spent with a sense of joy and promise and a looking towards the glorious day when we are all together in the presence of our Jesus. 

Mama T, thank you for being a woman of faith and for sharing that faith with your family. Thank you for raising and loving your family in a way that pointed each following generation towards the Cross and the empty tomb. Thank you for living your life in such a way that when people looked at you, they knew you had a special reason for living each day with a joy that was contagious. Thank you for pointing us to the Jesus you loved with all of your heart every day of your life, even the last day. We love you and we are so glad that you are where you have so longed to be. We are glad that you are with your Harvey and Uncle Dan standing before the throne worshipping the Jesus you have loved for so long. Save us all a place at the wedding feast. We love you!