Time --
I am on campus tonight before leaving to spend the weekend in the St. Louis area meeting the youth-group and congregation, as well as apartment hunting and making plans for moving. I drove to campus this morning and then spent a few hours in bed (in fact, I'm still in bed). I woke up this morning with a sore throat and by the time I got here I had a slight fever, the muscle aches and sensitive eyesight that comes with either a bad migraine or the flu. So, I have been trying to take it easy while I would much rather have gone to my sister's PowderPuff football Championship game (which she and her floor won by the way!) or spend time laying out in the grass under my favorite tree on campus. But as I have laid here in my sister's bed in Ruth Hall I have had a lot of time to think. To just think and remember. I have been so busy lately with work and wedding and moving stuff that I haven't taken time to just sit and think for awhile.
Today I was thinking about how strange it is to be on campus. To be the unknown visitor staying in the popular Samantha Holley's room. To not have my two best friends living right next door and ready for an ice cream run at 10pm. To not feel the rush and stress of being a student trying to wrap up the semester. To not feel at home among the students and faculty anymore. To just feel like an outsider.
It's even stranger to think that I am 7 weeks away from getting married. 7 weeks from taking another huge step forward in life. 7 weeks away from a major life change. I am overwhelmed, scared, excited, nervous and overjoyed all at the same time. Even though I am not entirely sure how that's possible. It's strange to think that in 7 weeks I will be getting married and moving into a house or apartment with my husband. To start a life and ministry of our own together.
It's strange to think about how grown up my little brother and sisters are. To know that they aren't babies anymore. That my brother is turning into one stud of an athlete (he runs track, races bikes and plays baseball) and so very close to earning his Eagle rank in Boy Scouts. To know that my little sister has quite an eye for fashion and photography just like two of her older sisters. To know that one sister is getting closer and closer to her senior year and overseas internship. To know that another sister is so close to coming home and possibly starting on a college adventure of her own. To know that my older sister and brother-in-law are steadily working towards their summer vacation with our parents. It's strange to know all of these things. It's hard to face them all.
I don't like change. My mom wrote in our Christmas 2011 letter about how much I hate change and yet somehow I won the award for the most change in our family. 6 months of life in Peru. An engagement and marriage. College graduation. Moving to a new city to start a new job. It's a lot of change. A lot. And I know that it's not bad. All of those things are incredibly wonderful. It's just hard for a shy, home and family loving girl from Iowa to be excited to take on so many things at one time. In one short season of life.
It just makes me think of what Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes (3:1-8 ESV):
Today I was thinking about how strange it is to be on campus. To be the unknown visitor staying in the popular Samantha Holley's room. To not have my two best friends living right next door and ready for an ice cream run at 10pm. To not feel the rush and stress of being a student trying to wrap up the semester. To not feel at home among the students and faculty anymore. To just feel like an outsider.
It's even stranger to think that I am 7 weeks away from getting married. 7 weeks from taking another huge step forward in life. 7 weeks away from a major life change. I am overwhelmed, scared, excited, nervous and overjoyed all at the same time. Even though I am not entirely sure how that's possible. It's strange to think that in 7 weeks I will be getting married and moving into a house or apartment with my husband. To start a life and ministry of our own together.
It's strange to think about how grown up my little brother and sisters are. To know that they aren't babies anymore. That my brother is turning into one stud of an athlete (he runs track, races bikes and plays baseball) and so very close to earning his Eagle rank in Boy Scouts. To know that my little sister has quite an eye for fashion and photography just like two of her older sisters. To know that one sister is getting closer and closer to her senior year and overseas internship. To know that another sister is so close to coming home and possibly starting on a college adventure of her own. To know that my older sister and brother-in-law are steadily working towards their summer vacation with our parents. It's strange to know all of these things. It's hard to face them all.
I don't like change. My mom wrote in our Christmas 2011 letter about how much I hate change and yet somehow I won the award for the most change in our family. 6 months of life in Peru. An engagement and marriage. College graduation. Moving to a new city to start a new job. It's a lot of change. A lot. And I know that it's not bad. All of those things are incredibly wonderful. It's just hard for a shy, home and family loving girl from Iowa to be excited to take on so many things at one time. In one short season of life.
It just makes me think of what Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes (3:1-8 ESV):
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal;
a time to break down and a time build up;
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek and a time to lose;
a time to keep and a time to cast away;
a time to tear and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace."
Right now there are changes taking place in my life. But it's time. It's time for me to keep moving forward. To keep walking down the path that GOD has laid out for me. And even though it is so incredibly scary and difficult at times... It's time. And it's right. And it's good.
Comments
Post a Comment