The best explanation...

This is a blog post from the Show Hope & Maria's Big House of Hope blog. The girl who wrote it is named Abby Akridge. I read this today and found that it was the best way of explaining my heart that I have ever read or been able to come up with. I've always tried to put it into words. But I've never gotten close to it. This is as close as I think it'll ever get. It's weird how much of myself I see in this girl. To check out the blog go to www.showhope.org. Enjoy. :)

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Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been fascinated by children. I was that annoying 7-year-old who would follow around the mom with a baby relentlessly asking, “Can I hold him now please?” I was mothering other kids before I was even out of diapers myself. If there was a baby in the building, little Abby was glued to its side (not much has changed). Folks, we even had to pack an extra little suitcase for my baby doll on our family vacation when I was in third grade. I feel like God planted a mother’s heart deep within my soul while He was still knitting me together in my mother’s womb. It has always been a part of who I am.

As I enter into my senior year of college, I’m often asked, “What do you want to do after college? What are your career goals? What’s next?” I don’t know where I’ll be this time next year or what I’ll be doing, I only pray that my wayward heart will be obedient to God’s tender voice. But, the desire of my heart as a little girl still rings true today: I really just want to be a mom when I grow up.

I went through a brief period where I was a little embarrassed to tell people that I just wanted to be a mom. People would say, “Oh, I know that…but like, what do you want to do?” And I would repeat, “Well, uh, I want to be a mom…really.” I don’t really appreciate the phrase “just a mom.” To me, this implies that being “just a mom” is something a person reverts to when other avenues fail. Let me say…I am so thankful and I have a whole lot of respect for all you “just moms” out there. I am a twenty-year old college kid and I want to be a mom when I grow up. A 15-passenger van literally is my dream car. I want to raise a mob of God-fearing kiddos. And I want to see the world be changed.

Behind a lot (not all, but a lot) of godly warriors stands a godly mama. A mama who spends hours on her knees on behalf of her children. A mama who labors continuously sowing the seeds of salvation in their tender hearts. A mama who “salts the oats” in order to make His Word as desirable as possible so that her children will find themselves hungering and thirsting after it. A mama who sets an example of forgiveness, love, and humility. A mama who serves others and gives her children opportunities to do the same. It seems to me that God often uses a godly mama to shape the hearts of future warriors.

My “mother’s heart” breaks every single day living at Maria’s Big House of Hope with 140 precious children who do not have “just a mom,” or “just a dad” for that matter. I live in a house of 140 potential warriors–and they need brave mommies and daddies and take them under their wings and prepare them for battle.

I don’t know what the future holds. And I will count it my greatest joy if God allows me to be an actual mother. But you know what? I am also comforted and excited to know that even if I never have physical children on this earth, each and every day, I have the glorious opportunity to sow seeds and salt oats for as many spiritual “children” as I can. I pray to live my life in such a way that on the glorious day when we are all gathered at the throne, I will be surrounded by children from all nations, tribes, and social statuses who I’ve had the privilege of introducing to my Father. And together we will rejoice together as we sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is He.”