Not what it should be...
Over the last few days, weeks actually, I have spent a lot of time wondering, hoping, questioning, crying, writing and reading. I have been trying to make sense of everything rushing through my mind and everything taking place in life. I have been trying to control my words and my temper because I don't want to make things worse by responding out of my emotion. I have been praying to see our country, our world and the American Church in a different light. I have been praying for a deeper love for people and less judgment to cross my mind. I have been working to be a better person, a better wife, a better Christian. I have been trying and what seems like failing to me. But what follows is something that I have been thinking about a lot. Since the International Conference on Missions in November actually. It's something that I have written over and over again in an effort to make it make sense. It's something that is important to me, even though it's not the most positive or uplifting thing to write about. It's something I think many of us need to hear and be reminded of...
Growing up as a preacher's daughter, I really wrestled with loving the Church. I really wrestled with whether or not I wanted to be in ministry because it deals with people. Broken, sinful, hard to love people. After I started traveling on missions trips, I found that I could easily love people of other cultures. I could easily communicate with them and reach out to them with the love of Jesus. But what about my own country and culture? Not so much. It's a lot harder for me to love people of my own country and culture. It's a lot harder for me to feel comfortable communicating and reaching out to people in my own country with the Gospel. It's a lot harder for me to love people that are in the American church. But that's not a good thing.
What makes it easier for me to love people of other cultures more? What makes is easier for me to go to another country and feel comfortable sharing and living out my faith? Why is it so hard to do that in my own country? Why is it so much harder for me to love people in the American church than it is for me to love people in an adobe house in a sandy barrio in Peru worshipping the exact same GOD? Well... I don't honestly know if I have an answer. I have some ideas. But then again, maybe they are just excuses. I have some thoughts. But then again, maybe it's just nonsense.
Jesus prayed in John chapter 17 for some very specific things. He prayed for his disciples to be unified as they worked together after His ascension to spread what they knew and had been taught. He prayed for those who would hear that message so that they would believe and be unified with the rest of the believers. He prayed for unity. He prayed for fellowship. He prayed for partnership. He prayed for courage. He prayed for a love that would transcend the difficulties ahead. And at times in history and in parts of the world, it would appear that that prayer was/has been answered. But at other times and in other parts, it seems that it hasn't.
The Church is not a building. It's the people. It's the believers. And the global Church is a beautiful thing. But the Church, specifically in America, has lost sight of it's purpose. Of it's value. Of it's mission. It has gotten so caught up in budgets, decisions, growth charts, expansions, remodels, attitudes and opinions, that it has forgotten what it's purpose is. It has lost sight of what is truly important. It has forgotten what it is supposed to be... the light of the world and the witnesses to a GOD who saves. And it's hard for me to love the American Church because of that. Now granted, there are some churches in America that haven't done those things. There are some that are doing amazing things and are truly focused on what's important. But sadly, there are too many that aren't. Too many have settled into their pews or their chairs and said that maintaining tradition and the status quo is enough for them. That nothing else is needed or important. That their church is the only church worth being at.
I don't see the unity that Christ prayed for in the American Church. I don't see the fellowship and partnership between church congregations and leadership teams that Christ asked for. I don't see the love that transcends every difficulty, every decision. I see attitudes and opinions and arguments and numbers. I see people who truly want to move forward, to grow and to accomplish great things for the Kingdom. But I also see people who don't care and become stumbling blocks or barricades for those who do.
I am trying, like every one of GOD's disciples, to be who I was created to be. A woman of faith. A woman of love. A woman of compassion. A woman of service. A woman of good character. I am trying to find ways to be that person. And I know that I am not perfect. I know that I am no where near perfect. I know that I am not the most-humble, servant-like person in the Church. I know that my attitude and opinions are sometimes just as bad as others. I know that. I know that I am not what I should be. But I am trying. I long to be that person. I pray to be that person. I want to be a woman of faith and action. I don't want to be in the spotlight. I don't want to lead anything ever. But I want to help the Church become what it should be. And I know that it starts with me.
And so, I pray that the Spirit would work in and change me. And I pray for the Church (global and American specifically), for the things Jesus prayed for...
Life is not what it should be. Our country, our world, the Church, is not what it should be. I am not what I should be.
Growing up as a preacher's daughter, I really wrestled with loving the Church. I really wrestled with whether or not I wanted to be in ministry because it deals with people. Broken, sinful, hard to love people. After I started traveling on missions trips, I found that I could easily love people of other cultures. I could easily communicate with them and reach out to them with the love of Jesus. But what about my own country and culture? Not so much. It's a lot harder for me to love people of my own country and culture. It's a lot harder for me to feel comfortable communicating and reaching out to people in my own country with the Gospel. It's a lot harder for me to love people that are in the American church. But that's not a good thing.
Life is not what it should be. Our country, our world, the Church, is not what it should be. I am not what I should be.
What makes it easier for me to love people of other cultures more? What makes is easier for me to go to another country and feel comfortable sharing and living out my faith? Why is it so hard to do that in my own country? Why is it so much harder for me to love people in the American church than it is for me to love people in an adobe house in a sandy barrio in Peru worshipping the exact same GOD? Well... I don't honestly know if I have an answer. I have some ideas. But then again, maybe they are just excuses. I have some thoughts. But then again, maybe it's just nonsense.
Life is not what it should be. Our country, our world, the Church, is not what it should be. I am not what I should be.
Jesus prayed in John chapter 17 for some very specific things. He prayed for his disciples to be unified as they worked together after His ascension to spread what they knew and had been taught. He prayed for those who would hear that message so that they would believe and be unified with the rest of the believers. He prayed for unity. He prayed for fellowship. He prayed for partnership. He prayed for courage. He prayed for a love that would transcend the difficulties ahead. And at times in history and in parts of the world, it would appear that that prayer was/has been answered. But at other times and in other parts, it seems that it hasn't.
Life is not what it should be. Our country, our world, the Church, is not what it should be. I am not what I should be.
The Church is not a building. It's the people. It's the believers. And the global Church is a beautiful thing. But the Church, specifically in America, has lost sight of it's purpose. Of it's value. Of it's mission. It has gotten so caught up in budgets, decisions, growth charts, expansions, remodels, attitudes and opinions, that it has forgotten what it's purpose is. It has lost sight of what is truly important. It has forgotten what it is supposed to be... the light of the world and the witnesses to a GOD who saves. And it's hard for me to love the American Church because of that. Now granted, there are some churches in America that haven't done those things. There are some that are doing amazing things and are truly focused on what's important. But sadly, there are too many that aren't. Too many have settled into their pews or their chairs and said that maintaining tradition and the status quo is enough for them. That nothing else is needed or important. That their church is the only church worth being at.
Life is not what it should be. Our country, our world, the Church, is not what it should be. I am not what I should be.
I don't see the unity that Christ prayed for in the American Church. I don't see the fellowship and partnership between church congregations and leadership teams that Christ asked for. I don't see the love that transcends every difficulty, every decision. I see attitudes and opinions and arguments and numbers. I see people who truly want to move forward, to grow and to accomplish great things for the Kingdom. But I also see people who don't care and become stumbling blocks or barricades for those who do.
THAT IS NOW WHAT THE CHURCH SHOULD BE.
I am trying, like every one of GOD's disciples, to be who I was created to be. A woman of faith. A woman of love. A woman of compassion. A woman of service. A woman of good character. I am trying to find ways to be that person. And I know that I am not perfect. I know that I am no where near perfect. I know that I am not the most-humble, servant-like person in the Church. I know that my attitude and opinions are sometimes just as bad as others. I know that. I know that I am not what I should be. But I am trying. I long to be that person. I pray to be that person. I want to be a woman of faith and action. I don't want to be in the spotlight. I don't want to lead anything ever. But I want to help the Church become what it should be. And I know that it starts with me.
And so, I pray that the Spirit would work in and change me. And I pray for the Church (global and American specifically), for the things Jesus prayed for...
When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven and said... "I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they kept your word. Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in the truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have me, that they may be one, even as we are one. While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them."
~ John 17:6-26 ~
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