Prayers Needed...
So, I hate being one to constantly ask for things or ask others to think of or help me. And my mom pointed out to me that that is probably due to me being such a private person and having grown up in my own world of books and dreams. I have no doubt that that is the case. And it makes perfect sense. But nonetheless, it makes it hard for me to know how to ask others for help.
I am in a place right now where my faith is being tested and shaken. I am being challenged with not wanting to be at LCU anymore. I have really hit the point where coming back to school after a weekend away is like a heavy burden. I sit in my room and cry because I don't fit here anymore. I don't belong here anymore. I am ready to graduate and move on. To start my life and ministry. To fulfill the purpose of why I came to Lincoln in the first place. I know that I still have 5 weeks of school left, a lot that I can learn, and a lot of people that I can spend time with. But my heart is restless. And school just isn't home anymore.
I am also being tested in waiting on God's timing to provide the funds for my internship. The funds are coming in at the pace of a snail (maybe even slower) and it's hard to see my report each week from Team Expansion and see the number not change. It's hard to see the days (and months) on the calendar fly by and bring me closer and closer to the time when I am supposed to be really getting ready to go and making payments and buying airline tickets, but not being able to because the funds aren't there. It's hard to have faith that I'll be getting to go to Peru when and for the amount of time that was originally planned. I am nervous and being challenged in a big way by all of this. And yet, I know that God's plans can (and often are) be very different then the ones that I make. And maybe this is just His way of reminding me that He is God, He is the Planner, and I am not.
I don't know who all reads this. Or if you all are people of faith. But whether you are or not, would you mind saying a prayer for me? Or lots of prayers for me? For my internship. For the funds that are needed. For my faith. For my motivation to finish school. For my attitude. And for me to stand strong in the midst of trial and challenge. Your prayers mean the world to me and I know that God moves when His people pray. So, even if it's just a one line prayer, it will be heard and much appreciated.
Thanks for the prayers, thoughts, and even for simply reading this. It means a lot to me even though I have no idea who follows these crazy thoughts and writings. But I know that my "family" is much bigger than just my parents and siblings. It encompasses all of mankind and the Church. Thank you and love always!
I am in a place right now where my faith is being tested and shaken. I am being challenged with not wanting to be at LCU anymore. I have really hit the point where coming back to school after a weekend away is like a heavy burden. I sit in my room and cry because I don't fit here anymore. I don't belong here anymore. I am ready to graduate and move on. To start my life and ministry. To fulfill the purpose of why I came to Lincoln in the first place. I know that I still have 5 weeks of school left, a lot that I can learn, and a lot of people that I can spend time with. But my heart is restless. And school just isn't home anymore.
I am also being tested in waiting on God's timing to provide the funds for my internship. The funds are coming in at the pace of a snail (maybe even slower) and it's hard to see my report each week from Team Expansion and see the number not change. It's hard to see the days (and months) on the calendar fly by and bring me closer and closer to the time when I am supposed to be really getting ready to go and making payments and buying airline tickets, but not being able to because the funds aren't there. It's hard to have faith that I'll be getting to go to Peru when and for the amount of time that was originally planned. I am nervous and being challenged in a big way by all of this. And yet, I know that God's plans can (and often are) be very different then the ones that I make. And maybe this is just His way of reminding me that He is God, He is the Planner, and I am not.
I don't know who all reads this. Or if you all are people of faith. But whether you are or not, would you mind saying a prayer for me? Or lots of prayers for me? For my internship. For the funds that are needed. For my faith. For my motivation to finish school. For my attitude. And for me to stand strong in the midst of trial and challenge. Your prayers mean the world to me and I know that God moves when His people pray. So, even if it's just a one line prayer, it will be heard and much appreciated.
Thanks for the prayers, thoughts, and even for simply reading this. It means a lot to me even though I have no idea who follows these crazy thoughts and writings. But I know that my "family" is much bigger than just my parents and siblings. It encompasses all of mankind and the Church. Thank you and love always!
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