Almost there... but not quite ready for it.

Finals are just two days away. I have all but one of my major projects done and one test to study for. Everything else has been finished, turned in or presented. And that is a wonderful feeling. Seriously, over the last few weeks I thought I was never going to get done and that this feeling of being almost done would never come. But it has and I am just a few days away from finishing my junior year at Lincoln Christian College (now Lincoln Christian University). It is hard to believe that I have been here for 3 years and have 1 1/2 left before I am all done. Kellye (my roommate and best friend) have talked alot this semester about how we are amazed that we have come to this point. We were those crazy freshman who never made curfew, went to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning, but yet still passed all of our classes with solid As. We have no idea how we did it. Especially now that we are in bed by 11 at the latest and working multiple jobs and being full-time students. We were crazy freshman 3 years ago. And now we are seniors, preparing for life. Kellye is getting married in just 2 weeks and then starting a job at one of the local churchs here in town doing what she wants to do... being an early childhood children's minister. She is so excited and I know that she is going to do awesome things. Ashley is preparing to spend her summer back home in Chicago working at her home church, as well as with a ministry to junior high girls. She is one incredible girl and I am so excited to see the things that God does through her this summer. Natalie is heading home to Bloomington and then transferring to ISU in the fall to finish her teaching degree. It will be so weird to not have her as my neighbor and on campus all the time. She is my card-playing, chick-flick movie watching buddy and those nights will be dearly missed. Kaila is also transferring to finish her teaching degree, only she will be at UIS. It will be strange to not have her come back and tell us all about her crazy weekends at the bridal boutique she works at. Cassie is also transferring to go and get her nursing degree. Itll be strange to not have here, coming in to just ask a random question or show off a new purchase. Nick is leaving for the summer. He is headed to Scotland and is going to come back a brilliant protege of Dr. Keith. Okay, maybe not. But he is going to learn so much while there. And even Beal, Josh and Katie are leaving. Beal and Josh both graduated and are off to their ministries. Katie going with her husband, Josh. Its so strange to see this list of people whom I have lived my college life with since the very beginning with their plans all laid out and involving leaving in some way. Its strange to see how life is going to change drastically this week and next for all of us. I cant deny that I am already growing sad to think about all my friends who are leaving, especially my girls. Itll be strange to not have them all within a door of me on the floor. Itll be weird to not come back from class and have Natalie and her stuff spread out on my bed, Kellye and her stuff spread out at my desk and Ashley in my chair. Itll be strange to not walk across campus to the caf with people giving us weird looks because we are laughing so hard and loud at something completely random. Itll be strange to not have them around to sit with at chapel or focus. Itll just be weird to not have them here every day. Even as I write this, while all of us are still on campus, I am fighting back tears. Coming here was a big change for me. But this place and the people here have become my life, my family in a sense. And its hard to see and think about how much that is all going to change shortly. Part of me wishes that they wouldnt all leave. Part of me wishes that I was to the point where I was a semester away from being done. But I know that Im not and that they cant. And I also know that God will make things okay for all of us. And that the friendships we all have will not be easily broken or forgotten. No matter where life takes us. Finals is a few days away, camp team training days are just a few past that and then I'll be home for a few days. And then I will celebrate my best friend's wedding with all of the people I love most on this campus. And it will be a celebration of love and laughter and friendship. No doubt about that. And then my summer will start. And who knows where God will take me from there. I am almost there... even if I am not quite ready for it all.