A broken heart for so many reasons

My heart is breaking yet again. And its breaking for so many different reasons. Alot has happened over the last few weeks and it's beginning to take a toll on me physically, spiritually and emotionally. But I know and believe that it will just make me stronger in the end. This last weekend was one of the toughest ones of the semester. I was supposed to head home for different family events (i.e. a soccer game and a play in which my brother was the star) on Thursday. But when I was about 10 minutes outside of Lincoln, the timing belt in my car shredded and my car broke down. My uncle called a tow and I was holding out to hope that it would be fixed by mid-afternoon on Saturday so I could at least catch the last performance of the play. But alas, the shop couldn't fix it and it had to be towed to the Ford dealer. And so, I was devastated that I couldn't get home to be with my family. I felt like I was letting my little brother and sisters down by not being there to support them. I cried for a good two days and was a huge grump towards people on campus. But I really didn't want to be on campus and got to the point where I just wanted to be left alone. But my girls did a great job of cheering me up and keeping me entertained all weekend so that after a little while I was okay. But it was just a tough weekend that broke me down. Another thing that has been breaking me is the stress of life. I have so much to do in just a short 3 weeks and I am beginning to grow very nervous that it wont all get finished. I know that it will... but right now, I am nervous about it all and don't want to get so stressed out that I forget to enjoy life here with my friends before we all part ways after finals. But more than just not being home or being stressed, my heart is breaking for people. There is a woman from my church who had a bloodclot in her leg break loose and move to her brain causing her to code and be put into a drug-induced coma. And she has a husband who has been laid off and a 3 month old son. They are facing a lot of uncertainty and my church at home is gathering behind them to try and be a source of strength and that is so encouraging to me because isnt that what the Church is supposed to be and do? This woman and her family are being lifted up by people who don't even really know who she is. And that is the power of the Church right there. I am amazed as I continue to see how GOD works within His people. Through my home church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. And through people like Bill Wilson and his team of workers in the slums of NYC. His story is an amazing story and one that has broken me this semester. I am reading a book of his for my Ministry to Urban Children and Youth class. And it is a tough one. Very real and in your face. And today I read a story about a Puerto Rican woman who came to him and said "I want to help." But she could only say "I love you and Jesus loves you" in English. So she held children in her lap as they rode to and from the the Sunday School on Saturdays telling them that. And there was this one little boy that she did that with for months. And one day he finally responded by saying "I love you too" with a stutter. And later that day his body was found. He had been murdered by his own mother. But Bill and his team were confident that that little boy was with Jesus because he had been told that he was loved. This story and the ministry that Bill Wilson does breaks me to the core of who I am. And what I want to do with children in my ministry one day. I want to ride a bus and simply hold a child while telling them that they are loved. And that is all I want. I want children to know that they are loved always, by someone. Life is stressful, I didn't get to go home, people are hurting all around me. But through it all... GOD is still working and moving His people. And that is a reason I keep taking on each new day.